Holocaust Teacher Resource Center

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A Mother’s Shoah, Ready to End it

Ready to end it

There was a palpable excitement about this turn of events. Vera, my friend was also on the list of those allowed to go, but we couldn’t find a cart for her belongings. In the meantime I was trying to decide whether to go or to stay. At the end my dearest mother in law solved the problem. By then there were about three thousand of us in the Tutura, but God knows she was still bent on making my life even more miserable.

Diary_pages_4-5

Pages 4 and 5

I was ready to end it then and there and the reason I didn’t succeed in killing myself was not her doing – someone else knocked the glass, with poison, out of my hand. We were suffering terribly while working for the Germans, but I hated them less than I hated her. I remembered how she would ruin, on purpose, even those few happy hours she allotted us through her strict schedule. Sorry about not playing the proper role, but I can only accept those who love me.